ZIAD IN GAZA

 

I recall a poem I read once by Sabrina Benaim in her book Depression & Other Magic Tricks. She says:

I held hands with my sadness / Sang it songs in the shower, fed it lunch / And put it to bed early

Is that what my friend and other people are thinking? Putting their sadness to bed early so they can steal some time to spend with hope? If I put sadness to bed early, what about fear? What about grief? What about sorrow? What about exhaustion?

For me, I am still in phase one, or maybe in phase zero with my sadness. I am still trying to be face to face with it and tell “him” that I see him. Just like that. It is going to be a very long journey just to realise the amount of sadness I have within.

If we get out of this, I want to be sad for a long time, to hold my sadness in my hands, hug it tight, and then maybe try to move on with my life, or what is left of it.