ZIAD IN GAZA

 I have been avoiding everything recently. Going out, talking to people, and “living” in general. I stay in the room and do nothing. I am tired of everything that is going on around me, of how inhumane and miserable our life is. My goal for each day is for its hours to finish and to cross it off the calendar. I want the hours and days to pass until we reach a moment where we are told that this nightmare is over.

I wondered if what I am going through is depression, but then I kicked the idea away because of that little, yet strong, seed of hope I have in my soul that, whenever it flies away due to hard times we are going through, finds its way to land back over my heart and pushes me to have positive thoughts and wish for a better future.

One time, I was watching an episode of a TV show called Killing Eve when one of the characters says “grief makes us strangers, even to ourselves”. Even though the sentence was mentioned briefly, without any focus on it in the episode, it stuck in my head. I guess what I am going through is grief, but a different kind of grief. One mixed with stress, fear, loss and severe sadness.