mount eerie - real death

Crusted with tears, catatonic and raw
I go downstairs and outside and you still get mail
A week after you died a package with your name on it came
And inside was a gift for our daughter you had ordered in secret
And collapsed there on the front steps I wailed
A backpack for when she goes to school a couple years from now
You were thinking ahead to a future you must have known
Deep down would not include you
Though you clawed at the cliff you were sliding down
Being swallowed into a silence that's bottomless and real

It's dumb
And I don't want to learn anything from this
I love you