Vote Stannis

John Lopez: This season has taught me that no one, villain or hero, feels capable — let alone worthy — of ruling Westeros yet. The Starks were too noble to navigate the snake pit; the Lannisters, i.e., the snakes, just ended up biting themselves; and the Dornish can trash-talk defeat out of the jaws of victory. And Mace Tyrell? He’s just happy to be invited. Even poor Dany, for whom we’re all implicitly rooting, still can’t get it together down Meereen way. Jeez, even when she backtracked to reopen the fighting pits, it somehow felt like the right decision at the wrong time. Yes, I get it: Meereen is training wheels and she’s the Mother of Dragons and all that. But the longer Dany’s detour in Meereen becomes — her latest nuptials suggest her stay will be interminable — the less starry-eyed I am about a Targaryen restoration. I mean, she can’t even house-break Drogon.

All of which is to say, at this point, I’m starting to look at Stannis with new eyes. Sure, he doesn’t wow you with excess charisma of either the naively noble Ned Stark or the Vaderesque Tywin varieties. And he’s far from perfect: His fleet got outflanked by Tyrion, and he fathered a shadow demon that murdered his little brother. But by Game of Thrones standards that’s nothing, the Westerosi version of Bill Clinton smoking pot. Most importantly: He’s still around. And contrary to every other wide-eyed, would-be savior, Stannis seems to get the machinations of power. Clearly he’s no Gandhi, but at least he’s not pulling a Cersei and empowering religious fanatics who would clearly burn down King’s Landing to protect it. (And next to the Boltons, he looks positively saintly.) The worst you can fault him for is being in thrall to Melisandre’s sexual power politics, but you know what? She tends to be frustratingly right. And she seems to believe in him.

So when it comes down to the straw poll for next ruler of Westeros, I cast my ballot for Stannis. Or pledge my sword. Whichever doesn’t get me burned alive.